I’ve done some really stupid stuff in my lifetime. I’ve also done some really cool and exciting stuff in my lifetime. Both had one thing in common – they started with the word yes.
On a recent trip abroad, our group leader, Jeff, told us, “No great adventure ever started with the word no.” Jeff is a cancer survivor, leader, outstanding family man, world traveler, and storyteller extraordinaire. He went on to tell us, “The best stories in life, the best memories you can make, are when you say yes to an opportunity and step out of your comfort zone.”
Making Memories
I will save the “really stupid stuff” I’ve done in my lifetime for another day. However, the word yes, especially when it was not my desired response and took me out of my comfort zone, is the differentiator between living a boring life and a life that evokes curiosity. When I was 29 years old, I was “talked” into running a marathon. I didn’t want to run, and in fact, I hated running. However, I said yes only because I wanted to hang out and chat with the friend who invited me, and since that time I’ve done 18 marathons across ten different states while creating and nurturing countless lifelong friendships and memories. Fast forward 15 years, and I was “talked” into becoming an Ironman triathlete. I didn’t want to run, I didn’t know how to swim, and I honestly had no desire to learn. However, I said yes so that I could raise money for a specific charity, and since that time I’ve done 8 Ironman triathlons across the US and have met hundreds of wonderful multi-sport athletes, benefitted several charities, and created stories that have been the subject of several books and countless conversations. Around the same time, I was invited on a mission trip to Haiti. Again, I was nervous, felt unsafe, and didn’t want to do it. However, I also felt that it was a calling on my life and an opportunity to do something impactful with my family, so I said yes. Since that time, I’ve done multiple mission trips to Haiti and have served in many other capacities, each of which has created lifelong friendships and memories.
It would have been easier to say no in each of these cases. It would have been far more comfortable. It would have consumed much less of my time and money. However, it also would have been boring, and I would have missed out on countless friendships, experiences, memories, and stories.
On the Job
Jeff (a different Jeff but I’m sensing a pattern) once told our organization,“When your boss asks if you want to do something, there is only one answer – yes.” Jeff’s rationale was that you don’t get many chances to say no before you are out of consideration for key advancement opportunities. He explained that the best way to get ahead at work is to take on the extracurricular assignments and step out of your comfort zone.
There’s also a key differentiator here. The concept is to say yes to new opportunities that take you out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t imply that you say yes to everything. In fact, there’s an art to “saying no by saying yes” that should be diligently employed to maintain your work life balance and ability to succeed. For example, when asked to meet an impossible deadline, consider saying no by saying “yes, if.” For example, “Yes, I can meet that date if we take a different approach (e.g., add resources, outsource some of the work, rescope the work, phase the project, change priorities, etc.).” There are lots of ways to negotiate those situations such that you give a conditional yes. Either way, you are still starting with yes, which showcases your commitment to the bigger picture.
When it comes to taking on opportunities and demonstrating your willingness and ability to learn and do more, the best answer is almost always yes. Ask questions like:
- “Is this an opportunity to add more value?”
- “Can my unique skills, knowledge, abilities, and experience be better leveraged for maximum impact?”
- “Will this help set me apart as I learn and grow, even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone?”
If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, seriously consider acting on the opportunity, and then fasten your seat belt for an exciting adventure.
Game Plan for 2025
As we lean into the new year, many of us find ourselves defining goals and seeking ways to grow our careers. Usually, we begin with a grandiose vision and lofty goals to support that vision. By the time we rationalize the goals and put them on paper for others to see, we tend to dummy them down. We tell ourselves no. We are afraid to step out of our comfort zone. We are afraid to aim for something big because big equals risky. We are afraid to fail. One of the first things we cut out of our goals is typically our own learning and growth.
Why not make 2025 the adventure of a lifetime? Seek opportunities to add more value. Find ways to best leverage your skills, knowledge, abilities, and experience for maximum impact.
Relentlessly pursue learning and growth both within and outside your comfort zone. Be bold, live a life worth living, and start by saying yes!
After all, no great adventure ever started with the word no.
Next Steps
At Exceptional Difference, we help engineers, leaders, and executives become the best versions of themselves. We enable people and teams to create value by casting far reaching visions, defining supporting strategies, and developing inspirational and energizing goals and plans.
Exceptional Engineer Experience and Leadership Growth Cycle are two of our key offerings that take engineers and leaders, respectively, to the next level. We help individuals and teams become exponentially better as they relentlessly pursue value, quality, and speed while consistently meeting or beating commitments.
Contact us at info@exceptionaldifference.com or peruse our site to learn more about these offerings and how we can help your team speak the language of value.
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David VanEpps, Chief Operating Officer, Exceptional Difference