“I can’t do it anymore!” I blurted out.
Every day was the same: meetings, work, interruptions, more meetings. Every evening brought more commitments: boat club, night school, board meetings, coaching, church activities, community obligations… and more.
I was oversubscribed. I had no margin for anything else.
Somewhere along the way, I became a human pinball.
The Pinball vs. the Flippers
Growing up, I loved playing pinball. The challenge was managing the flippers – doing everything possible to keep the ball bouncing from bumper to bumper while racking up points.
It was fun being the flippers.
Unfortunately, I had become the pinball.
Life had become the proverbial flippers, and I was being bounced from meeting to meeting, deliverable to deliverable, commitment to commitment. Everything on my plate felt non-negotiable. I felt like I had lost control.
Or had I?
See Reality
At Exceptional Difference, we believe you have to see and accept reality before you can deal with reality.
One night my wife asked a simple but humbling question, “How many hours per week are these plates you’re juggling actually taking?”
“Too many,” I replied.
She pushed back, “How many exactly?”
Like any engineer faced with a problem, I realized what I needed next: data.
So we started tracking my time. Using a simple planning tool, we listed the “plates” I was juggling and tracked the hours spent on each one. After a month, we reviewed the results. The data confirmed what we suspected.
My time was not aligned with my priorities.
I was spending more time than I wanted on lower-priority activities and not nearly enough on the things that mattered most.
From “As-Is” to “To-Be”
Once we had the data, we approached the problem the way engineers often do. First, we documented the “as-is” state. Then we designed a “to-be” state. The same commitments were listed, but with different time allocations aligned to my real priorities.
Next came the hardest part: figuring out how to get from as-is to to-be. My initial reaction to nearly every proposed change was the same: “I can’t do that.” That response revealed something uncomfortable: it was a victim mindset.
Victims say, “I can’t.”
Victors say, “I’ll find a way.”
So, we started turning over rocks.
- Could something be delegated?
- Could something be transitioned to someone else?
- Did something need to be eliminated entirely?
In some cases, I had to say no.
Since I’m not naturally good at saying no, we tried a different approach: “Yes, if.” Yes, I can help with that, if something else comes off my plate. With discipline, intentional choices, and a built-in accountability partner (my wife), the plan started working. Over the next three months, we gradually moved from as-is to to-be.
It’s All About Mindset
Over the past few decades, we’ve helped many leaders walk through this exact exercise. It’s always easier when you’re the third-party advisor helping someone else. It’s much harder when you’re the one looking in the mirror. But the same principles always apply:
- Adopt a victor mindset.
- Ground the conversation in data.
- Accept reality before trying to change it.
- Define what a better future looks like.
- Create a plan to get there.
If you feel like a human pinball right now, bouncing from bumper to bumper in your professional and personal life, you’re not alone. But with the right mindset—and a little data—you can become the person controlling the flippers again.
Next Steps
Contact us at info@exceptionaldifference.com or visit www.exceptionaldifference.com to learn more about our offerings and how we can help you and your team become the flippers – not the pinball. Commitment Fundamentals / Commitment Deep Dive and the Exceptional Engineering Experience are just a few examples of our offerings that will help you take control of your time, your career, and your destiny.
Follow us on LinkedIn and check out our website to stay connected and learn about our upcoming offerings.